Can Someone Loan Me $400,000?

February 27, 2009

My geekdom makes me long for items such as this.


Friday Fun: Father Fail

February 27, 2009

If you’re gonna make gay videos for the internet, then you deserve for this to happen.


What’s Grosser Than Gross?

February 25, 2009

The sheer thought that this will happen?


With Friends Like These…

February 24, 2009

Sometimes you think you know people. Take for instance my friends Chris, Jerrod and Josh. I’ve known each for several years now. I’ve gotten to know each one fairly well. I thought I knew their backgrounds, their likes/dislikes and other personality quirks.

Then I learn randomly one day that these three assholes ran their own fully-functioning wrestling promotion while in college. Here I am, a big time wrestling fan, with no clue that the guys I call my friends are sitting on this golden nugget of information. I discover it when I stumble upon their web site, which is filled with old stories, sweet videos, rosters of former wrestlers and other items of total greatness.

And here I am totally clueless to any of this. I have so many questions. How did you come up with the idea for this? How did you spread the word about it? How big was your fan base? How did you get so many dudes coordinated for the events?

I was in a fraternity in college and we couldn’t pry more than five members at a time away from their succubus girlfriends to do anything more than organize a pick up basketball game. And here you fellows are putting on wrestling shows!

For me, finding out about this was like having a long-time friend randomly one day throw out that he once got invited to Cowboys training camp, played minor league ball for the Yankees or had a gang-bang with a supermodel, her twin sister and her mom.

So, thanks guys, for leaving me in the dark. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.

P.S.

Chris – I still want to attend your show in March. Ringside would be preferable.


Rewarding Failure: The New American Standard

February 24, 2009

This commentary on the current economic stimulus debacle comes courtesy of our friend Trey Garrison, who received it from a friend in Portland (just want to cover all my attribution bases there!). It explains perfectly why sometimes you just have to allow the weak links to die off.

Times are tough. Some banks made some stupid loans. More than a generation of poor business practices are finally sinking the Detroit auto industry. And everyone is nervous.

Today on a plane, completely unannounced and for no reason whatsoever, as we were coming in to land, the stewardess handed out $20 gift certificates to McCormick & Schmick’s Steakhouse. This is the third McCormick & Schmick’s gift certificate I’ve gotten in under 2 months. It got me thinking:

Because people aren’t spending, merchants are dropping their prices to lure in customers. Falling prices encourage spending and restart the economy. However not every business can afford to cut prices. The ones that can’t, fail. But that’s OK, because then the ones that didn’t go out of business can pick up their assets at bargain prices, allowing them to grow and get stronger while helping pull us out of this nosedive. If GM & Chrysler fail, it opens the way for other automakers; people who’ve been blocked by the American automotive oligopoly in the past. They can pick up machines, tools and maybe even factories at heavily discounted prices. They may even find skilled workers for reasonable terms if the UAW goes under. Defaulted homes will drive real estate prices down, allowing people who’ve been saving, but have been priced out of the market, to finally own their part of the American Dream.

In other words, the market will quickly and efficiently (albeit ruthlessly) correct itself. BUT…

Instead, we’ve got the government, propping up failing banks, failing automakers; we’ve got the government, helping people stay in a home they can’t afford, artificially keeping real estate prices up. To make it even worse the government has apparently decided to punish people who’ve been successful by jacking up their taxes to subsidize failed businesses and bad loans. So now, not only does that keep rents high for the people who are weathering the storm, but it keeps their competitors in business; it restricts their chance to grow and capitalize on their hard work and good decisions.

And the final insult is that it slaps a penalty on them for being successful, shunting the money off to the people who haven’t been. If the government would just say “OK. This is going to get bloody for a bit, but it’s like ripping off a band-aid–the faster you do it, the less pain there is,” it wouldn’t be popular, but it would be the quickest, best way to get the economy back on track. And it would have the benefit of clearing out the deadwood and encouraging success instead of propping up zombie corporations, that died long ago, but just haven’t realized it yet.


RE: Tees & Ace: He’s Back…

February 24, 2009

Jerrod – don’t EVER compare Tiger Woods to the Dallas Cowboys ever again. I like you, and I don’t want to take in your family after I bludgeon you to death with one of Steve’s replica Dallas Cowboys Lombardi trophies. Seriously.


Tees & Ace: He’s Back…

February 23, 2009

Tiger Woods announced last week that he is ready to begin on the road to the Masters with his first tournament coming this week in the Match Play. Let’s review: he’s had a complete knee reconstruction since winning in dramatic fashion at the US Open and had another baby with his supermodel wife. So even though he hasn’t played competetively in quite some time, Tiger has been plenty busy. 

And let’s face it, the PGA Tour needs Tiger back. The golf purist may sit there in front of his TV cheering for Fred Couples or Kenny Perry. The junior golfer may watch to see what Ian Poulter or Sergio Garcia are wearing. And the novice fan may tune in to see how Hefty Lefty Phil Mickelson will blow another 5 stroke lead. But it’s Tiger that draws the crowd. And the ratings. And the sponsors. Love him or hate him, most everyone has an opinion. Tiger, the Dallas Cowboys, and the NY Yankees have a lot in common that way. He is paid the most. He wins the most. It’s like we are watching history on his every swing. When he’s missing from the field, we’re looking for the “next” Tiger. Or mowing the yard.