Trey Garrison For DMN!

So being the unemployed bum that I am, I recently stumbled across this job opening in my daily searches of the interwebs for potential work.  As much I as I would like to think that I had the chops for such a position, it’s quite obvious that I don’t and that such gigs should be reserved for the heavy hitters. The particular heavy hitter I have in mind is my blogger friend Trey Garrison. If you haven’t already made the journey over to his blog to check out his stance on the issues, then I highly suggest you do so.

In a media world drowning in Republican/Democrat, Liberal/Conservative, Right/Left bullshit, Garrison’s voice is one of unique clarity. He represents those of us who don’t fall into the convenient, pre-determined social labels. His words reflect an undying commitment to freedom, not just as a buzzword to be thrown around for political gain, but as a mantra to be cherished and respected. He combines humor and a sharp tongue to accentuate the absurdity of the spectacle that passes for political discourse these days.

Garrison is an accomplished journalist who already works as a freelance contributor for The Dallas Morning News. Before that, he was a contributing editor at D Magazine and also worked on several other D Custom publications.

So, I officially announce the Trey Garrison for DMN campaign. If you agree, spread the word. On your blog. On Facebook. On Twitter. Everywhere.  Let the DMN know who think should be their next choice for their editorial page. Tell them you’re sick of the chosing between the ultra-conservative bible thumpers and the khaki-clad marxists. It’s time for a something different. It’s time for the rest of us to be heard.

Sarah Palin’s Effect On The Limp-wristed Media

My blogger friend and fellow agitator Trey Garrison hits the nail on the head again. This time his targets are the “opinion geldings in New York and Washington” who have waged a media jihad against Sarah Palin and her family. While I doubt I would support a 2012 presidential run by Palin, I definitely consider myself a fan of hers. She’s gorgeous, smart, family-oriented and she makes pussified liberal whiners squirm in their Armani suits. The thought of Keith Olbermann shaking his fists and stammering incoherently from his wheelchair every time Palin appears on t.v. makes me happy on the inside.

Anita Dunn Loves Mao Tse-Tung

This blog has been light on political commentary for last few months. Hell, it’s been light on all content and I apologize for that. However, here’s a bit of a dandy to get your political pants in a bunch.

This video is of Anita Dunn, the current White House Communications Director, espousing her love of Mao Tse-Tung. That’s right. Mao Tse-Tung. The man responsible for the Communist takeover of China and for the deaths of 70 million of his own people. He killed more people than Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini combined.

This administration doesn’t even try to hide its love of Communism anymore. Look what you goddamn hippies have done to this country.

To The Moon…With Our Money?

Why in the world is this happening? And to take it further, can someone give me a legitimate reason why NASA exists in the first place? Are we really gonna live in space or on the moon someday? The only thing the moon would be good for is to house prisoners. Especially since we thought it would be a good idea to shut down Gitmo.

Meanwhile, in other news of wasted money, more banks can’t pay back TARP funds, car dealerships still haven’t received “Cash for Clunkers” money from the government and Barry is still determined to bring Socialism to America.

Crabtree Signs A Contract…..Finally

Dallas’ own Michael Crabtree has finally agreed to a deal with the San Francisco 49ers, ending his weeks-long hold out that saw him miss all of training camp and the first four games of the season. Apparently, he has agreed to a six-year deal, but the financials of said deal haven’t been disclosed yet. Shortly after the draft, Crabtree had balked at San Francisco’s offer of five years and $20 million with $16 million of that guaranteed. Though he was selected 10th overall in the draft, Crabtree felt like he deserved a contract comparable to those received by the higher picks. To which I say, fuck you Michael Crabtree. May your career be as gay as the city in which you now play.

Ya’ll Say Howdy To Cletis

The Cowboys signed a cornerback named Cletis Gordon today. Now if they could find a Malakai and a Bocephus the Wade Phillips-transformation of this team would be complete.

Worst Sports Column of All-Time

Can you imagine Ms. Dugard’s reaction to this?

“Gee thanks, Mr. Whicker. I’ve been meaning to catch up on my sports from the last few years, but the whole being kidnapped, raped and tortured business totally got in the way.”

Eff you, Mark Whicker and the no-talent editorial staff at the OC Register who published this pile of shit.

Trey Garrison: No you can’t, Mr. President

My blogger friend, professional journalist and staunch Libertarian Trey Garrison has written an excellent piece for The Dallas Morning News explaining exactly why it’s NOT okay for the president to use our nation’s grade schools as a means for communicating his “vision” for America. I believe the crux of his argument is best explained in the following paragraphs.

Look, watching a president’s speech in a middle or high school civics class? No problem. In a few years, I want my kid to be confronted by challenging ideas, informed debate and opposing values. That’s how a kid learns, evolves and strengthens her own ideas and beliefs.

That’s not what this is.

These are grade school kids. You know, the ones who giggle over the word booger and do their financial planning based on the tooth fairy’s visits. Critical thinking and nuance? Not their strong suits yet.

What this is, though, is imprinting on them the idea that one person is their leader.

And if he’s the leader, what does that make them?

Trey correctly explains that this worship of power and of the office of the President didn’t start with Obama, but at some point it’s up to us to say enough is enough.

This Lady Is My Hero

This is the kind of person that such “pundits” as Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews refer to as an “extremist.” She’s passionate, intelligent and completely right. So, I guess I can see why they’d be afraid of her.

Sorry Folks, But It’s Liberals Who Kill Presidents, Not Conservatives

The constant chirping from Left-wing windbags recently about the threat of potential Right-wing “terrorists” and “assassins” has reached a fevered pitch in this country. In an effort to play their omnipresent victim card, liberals have been up-in-arms about the threat of Obama being assassinated or other terrorist acts being perpetrated by the “extremists” who have shown up in force to denounce the socialist policy reforms of this administration.

However, as it is with most dealings with the fanatical Left, none of their theories are based on history or facts. How about we take a long look back at the history of political assassination and assassination attempts in this country? Every presidential assassin in the history of America has been a leftist – or had no politics at all. Not a single one was a right-winger.

• Actor/activist John Wilkes Booth shot President Lincoln because he opposed his Republican war policies. Booth left a letter saying he loved “peace more than life” and he denounced Republicans for pushing an unnecessary war on to the South.
• Charles J. Guiteau shot President James Garfield in 1881. He was a member of a utopian commune called the Oneida Community where free love and communal child-rearing were practiced.
• Leon Czolgosz killed President William McKinley in 1901. He was a devout socialist and anarchist who was inspired to action after hearing fellow socialist Emma Goldman give a speech.
• Giuseppe Zangara attempted to assassinate FDR in 1933. He was consumed with rage and jealousy towards the rich and sought to “make even with capitalists” by killing the president. He had also plotted to kill Hebert Hoover because he, too, was a capitalist.
• Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK in 1963. Oswald was enthralled with communism from the time he was a teenager. He even lived in the Soviet Union for a period of time, attempting to gain citizenship, but he was denied. He returned with this Soviet wife to the US where he tried to preach the glories of communism. He first attempted to shoot Major General Edwin A. Walker as Walker sat in his house, but he missed. He also planned on making an attempt on former vice president Richard Nixon’s life while he was in Dallas, but the timing didn’t work out. After he successfully killed JFK, his first call was to John Abt, lawyer for the American Communist Party, asking Abt to defend him. Abt never got the chance thanks to Jack Ruby.
• Sirhan Sirhan killed Robert Kennedy in 1968. Sirhan was a Palestinian extremist who thought Kennedy was too supportive of Israel.
• Arthur Bremer, who shot and paralyzed presidential candidate George Wallace in 1972, had ties to the Black Panthers.
• Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme pointed a loaded gun at President Gerald Ford in 1975. She was a member of Charles Manson’s counter-cultural hippie cult.
• Sara Jane Moore tried to kill President Ford 17 days after the Fromme incident. She claimed that Ford’s administration had “declared war on the left.”

Then we have all of the political violence of the Left in the 1970s and 80s caused by such radical groups as the Weather Underground, the Black Panthers and the Black Liberation Army.

• Waverly “Chipper” Brown, the only black officer in Nyack, New York at the time, was killed along with two other officers in 1981 when the Weather Underground attempted to rob the Brinks truck Brown and his fellow officers were protecting.
• Robert Fassnacht, a physics student at the University of Wisconsin, was killed in 1971 by a car bomb set off on campus by a group of anti-war protesters.
• Liberals in various groups also planted bombs or tried to plant bombs at an Army dance hall at Fort Dix, NYC police headquarters, the Harvard international-studies center, various corporate offices, National Guard headquarters, the Pentagon and the Capitol Building.

In more recent news, peace-loving liberals have written books and made movies glamorizing the assassination of George W. Bush.

• Death of a President depicted the assassination of Bush and it went on to win the International Critics Prize at the 2006 Toronto Film Festival.
• The novel, The Assassination of George W. Bush: A Love Story, advocates the killing of the president for the good of humanity.

So what side of the political spectrum am I supposed to be afraid of again?

h/t to Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault on America.

Ted Kennedy: Always Remember That He Killed A Woman

In the upcoming days, as you watch the media and those around you gush over the death of Ted Kennedy, I implore you to keep in mind that he killed a woman and just walked away. He wasn’t just “implicated in” or “accused of” her death. He drove her into a body of water and left her to die. There’s nothing more respectable than killing a person and using your daddy’s good name to get you out of trouble.

So, please tell me once again, why should I consider this piece of shit a great man?

Woodstock Continues To Suck

The more I troll the interwebs on my daily rounds, the more I’m finding people that share my opinion about the overblown social significance  associated with the Woodstock music festival. Today, I found this great piece by Dick Polman of the Philadelphia Inquirer. Here are a few nuggets of his wisdom that are oh so true.

Enough about how Woodstock was supposedly the apogee of flower power, the moment when young people showed how they would change the world and transform human consciousness. Enough with the documentary footage of the festival organizers clutching their flowers and gushing about cosmic, utopian oneness.

The truth, omitted from the 1970 documentary, is that hundreds of kids ingested bad acid and required medical treatment in the “freakout tent,” that the Grateful Dead were almost electrocuted onstage during a downpour, that stoned musicians traveling in helicopters vomited on the crowd, that two festival organizers wound up suing the other two (there were 80 lawsuits in all), and that many of the people in attendance remain confused about what they actually witnessed versus what they saw in the documentary.

And Polman reminds us that these supposed free-loving, throw-caution-to-the-wind hippies are now a generation of overprotective, pussified parents that have kids that can’t spend more than three hours on their own without melting down.

And enough about the purported bliss of camping incommunicado for three days and nights in mud and rain. If kids today told their boomer parents that they intended to follow the Woodstock template, they’d never get out the door – not unless they agreed to pack the GPS-equipped family SUV with SPF 50 (to guard against sunburn), 100 percent Deet bug spray (to fight Lyme disease), electrolyte-enhanced bottled water (for extra hydration), condoms (duh), a North Face tent (to ensure privacy), an EMS parka (to guard against raindrops), and a nonnegotiable directive to check in via text message at the top of every hour.

Boomers are risk-averse as parents because they realize they haven’t changed the world. If anything, the world is more dangerous now than it was in 1969, when Woodstock’s public-address announcer was intoning that “the man next to you is your brother.” We’ve spent much of the past decade wondering whether the man next to us is a bomber.

You hear that, hippies? You and your shitty music festivals, your free love, your psychodelic drugs and your offensive body odor have done nothing to change the world for the better. If anything, you’ve made the world worse. Much, much worse.

Woodstock Sucks

Finally, someone from the ’60s has the balls to come out and say what I’ve always guessed to be the truth: that Woodstock was nothing more than a clusterfuck of filthy hippies and mediocre musical performances by bands with way overblown social significance. I can’t imagine a better firsthand view of hell of Earth than a gathering of 300,000 dirty, worthless hippies screwing, shitting and spewing their moronic rhetoric in public. I would rather have spent two years in the trenches during World War I.

I hate to break this to you, worthless ’60s hippies (the most worthless generation of Americans in history), but getting stoned, listening to highly generic music, humping a goat and playing grab ass in the mud didn’t “change the world, man.” You folks were a joke in 1969 and you’re still a joke 40 years later. Now go smoke a bowl and put on some Hendrix in your “apartment” in your daughter’s basement. Groovy man.

John Hughes Dead At 59

It’s a sad day for anyone who was a child of the ’80s. The man responsible for some of the most iconic films of that decade (The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off to name a few) has apparently died. TMZ is reporting that John Hughes died today of a heart attack while on a family trip to New York City.

Congressman Ron Paul On Healthcare

As with every other issue of note, Texas Congressman Ron Paul now brings his level-headedness and clear thinking to the current healthcare debate. Paul, who practiced medicine for more than 30 years, gives an explanation for solving our current healthcare crisis that is simple, straight-forward and extremely practical. Therefore, it will never be considered by the heavy hitters in Washington.

I did my part to get this man elected president last year. Did you?

Adios Desperados

The Dallas Desperados are no more. So is the rest of the Arena Football League for that matter. The entire league is folding. Apparently taking the 2009 season off to get their finances in order didn’t work.

I wasn’t a huge AFL fan, but I appreciated the league for what it was and the games were extremely entertaining to attend in person. And now that Clint Dolezel is available, I’d much rather see him as the Cowboys third string quarterback than this guy.

States’ Rights May Kill Universal Healthcare In Texas

Oh man, are the name-calling, uber-intellectual Lefties going to have a field day with this story. Today, Gov. Rick Perry suggested that he would invoke the states’ rights protections afforded by the 10th Amendment in order to prevent Obama’s nightmarish universal healthcare plan from coming to Texas.

In case any of you are wondering, the 10th Amendment states:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Now I’ve read the Constitution front to back numerous times (yes, I’m that kind of nerd) and nowhere in it does it grant the federal government the right to create and maintain a national healthcare system. Such omissions used to be taken seriously in politics. Nowhere in the Constitution does it grant the federal government the right to ban alcohol. That’s why when Prohibition was passed in 1919, it came in the form of a Constitutional amendment. The 18th Amendment, to be exact. However, as the decades have progressed, our friendly neighborhood politicians no longer take things like the “law” or “Constitutionality” seriously.

Liberals believe that as intellectual superiors, they have the fundamental right to bear down on the rest of us with any sort of regulation, regardless of it’s legality simply because they know what’s best for the people. It’s the doctrine of Liberal Fascism and if any of you are interested in learning more on the subject, I highly recommend you read Jonah Goldberg’s book of the same name. Here’s a quick snippet:

Progressivism, liberalism, or whatever you want to call it has become an ideology of power. So long as liberals hold it, principles don’t matter. It also highlights the real fascist legacy of World War I and the New Deal: the notion that government action in the name of “good things” under the direction of “our people” is always and everywhere justified. Dissent by the right people is the highest form of patriotism. Dissent by the wrong people is troubling evidence of incipient fascism.

Sounds all too familiar, doesn’t it?

Jason Whitlock: This Is Why Athletes Should Never Marry

Man, I’ve been barking up this tree for years. I think it goes for actors and musicians, too. If you’ve got the world by the balls and you know ahead of time that you’re not going to be faithful, then why even waste the time to get married in the first place.

RS Magazine: How Goldman Sachs Runs Washington

Every now and then, Rolling Stone will shed its pinko, commie skin and produce an article that is actually insightful and non-biased. In the most recent issue, Matt Taibbi writes about the role that mega-bank Goldman Sachs has played in every single major “bubble” that our economy has experienced since the Great Depression. Taibbi pulls back the curtain to give us a true perspective into who actually rules in Washington.

And if you think these captains of high finance and greed are shills for the Republicans, then you’d be gravely mistaken. Goldman Sachs is balls-deep in the operations of the Democratic Party and they’re pushing harder than any other private sector entity for the new Cap-and-Trade regulations. Cap-and-Trade will create a new trillion dollar derivatives market for the trading of carbon credits. It’s been described as the greatest transfer of wealth in human history. I’ll give you one guess where the majority of that wealth is going to end up.

A Long Look Back At My Week Off

Well, I finally pulled the family truckster back into my driveway in Wylie, Texas last night after a long week spent visiting the wife’s family in the Great White North. A lot happened during my time away that needs to be commented on. Plus, I’m going to sprinkle in a few of my own observations from our 2,000 mile round trip trek across the central United States. Here we go…

* I have officially dubbed this to be the Summer of the Dead Has-Been. After arriving at my uncle’s 50th birthday party on Saturday night, the first thing I heard someone say was, “hey, did you hear that they found Steve McNair dead?” Add him to the list along with David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays and Karl Malden. If I was Drew Bledsoe or Scott Baio, I’d be staying indoors a lot these days.

* The Texas Rangers closed the gap between themselves and the Anaheim Angels to regain a share of first place in the A.L. West. As I was driving home yesterday, they were in the process of completing a sweep of  a very good Tampa Bay team. Even better, they finally sent Chris Davis and his limp dick of a bat down to Oklahoma City, making Hank Blalock the new everyday first baseman. While Davis was solid defensively, he looked like Corky Thatcher at the plate, hitting a paltry .202 with an ungodly 114 strikeouts. My prediction: Davis will never see the light of day in the big leagues again.

* The Mavericks re-signed Jason Kidd and are about to sign some giant white Pollock. No one seems to care.

Now for some nuggets from the road.

* I spent the greatest four years of my life at Iowa State University. I’ll never have that much fun again. Unfortunately, I had forgotten what an amazing place the campus is until the wife and I swung through Ames on our way up to Minnesota. If you ever get a chance to make it to Ames, do it. Eat at Great Plains Pizza or Hickory Park, drink a beer at Cy’s Roost, laugh at the smelly kids playing Magic in the comic book shop on Lincoln Way and stroll through ISU’s central campus. You won’t be sorry you did.

* I think I offended at least one person in Minnesota when I referred to William Tecumseh Sherman as a bastard. Instead of crying about it like an overly P.C. pussy, you could have just called scoreboard on me. Your side did win that war after all. On a side note, I find it funny that Sherman is such an icon to the “anti-war” left. If the United States military were to employ his tactic of total warfare in Iraq, the anti-war Left would be in an uproar, ready to prosecute every level of the U.S. government for crimes against humanity. We also would have won that war three months after it started, but that’s another story. But you have to remember that nothing gets a peace-loving, anti-war hippie more excited than the thought of killing his fellow Americans, which is exactly what Sherman did. Don’t believe me? Ask the first anti-war peacenik you come across what his thoughts are on the Iraq War. I’m sure you know what his response will be. Next, ask that same hippie douche what he thinks about Texas (or any other red state in the south) seceding from the Union. Watch as his pants tighten at the thought of the Obama-led U.S. military marching south to teach those no good, free thinkers a bloody and well-deserved lesson.

* Lakes in central Minnesota are freezing fucking cold even in July. I don’t recommend jumping in one.

* Why is the simple act of driving so tiring? Granted, I drove almost 1,000 miles yesterday, but I still didn’t think I was going to be that exhausted when I finally got home. I mean, it is just sitting in a chair and using your hands and one foot, right? Maybe it’s more mental exhaustion from driving around countless morons who refuse to go five miles over the speed limit and who change lanes without looking.

* And on that note: Fuck you, Oklahoma. Die.