Week 5 Game Notes: Cowboys vs. Chiefs

There were both good things and bad things to take away from the Cowboys’ 26-20 overtime victory against the Chiefs, but in the end, all it amounts to is a close win against an extremely bad team. This week’s notes are going to be broken down into the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good:

1. With Kansas City sporting their throwback Dallas Texans uniforms and the Cowboys wearing their expansion duds from 1960, this might have been the greatest uniform pairing in the history of the NFL. Or maybe I’m just partial to anything that ties back to the city of Dallas.

2. Miles Austin. Ten catches, 250 yards and two touchdowns. He broke Bob Hayes’s 43-year-old Cowboy record for receiving yards in a game, and he saved the Cowboys’ season (for now). What a way to make an impact in your first NFL start.

3. Tashard Choice. Eight carries, 92 yards and a touchdown. Choice didn’t see a lot of action, but when he did get on the field, he made a huge impact. His 36-yard touchdown run got the Cowboys right back into this game. However, it was his 24-yard dash in overtime that set the stage for Miles Austin’s coup de grace.

4. Tony Romo was throwing darts yesterday. I didn’t see one errant pass from the guy the entire game. He hit his receivers in stride and fit the ball into tight spaces multiple times. He ended the day with 351 yards (the second highest single game total of his career) and two touchdowns and ZERO interceptions. His numbers might have been even better had it not been for several dropped passes by his receivers. It’s games like this that make last week’s performance against Denver all the more baffling. We know this guy is an accurate quarterback, but for some reason at times, his accuracy just leaves him. Here’s to hoping that it’s back for good.

5. DeMarcus Ware. Two sacks and constant pressure all day. It’s good to have you back, buddy.

6. Jay Ratliff is a freaking beast. That guy has the best motor on the team. His hurdling of the Chiefs offensive line to block that field goal was the most athletic play I’ve seen by a Cowboys’ player in 10 years.

Cowboys Injury Update

Roy Williams said today that he will play with three bruised ribs this weekend against Kansas City. Both Marion Barber (quadriceps) and Andre Gurode (knee) are expected to play as well. Unfortunately for Cowboys fans, Wade Phillips is also expected to coach.

Ya’ll Say Howdy To Cletis

The Cowboys signed a cornerback named Cletis Gordon today. Now if they could find a Malakai and a Bocephus the Wade Phillips-transformation of this team would be complete.

Really? Romo…

The story is coming out that Romo didn’t realize what down it was when he threw consecutive passes to Sam Hurd during the Cowboys final drive against the Broncos.

I’ve been a staunch supporter of Romo, but he’s making it increasingly more difficult to defend him…

Week 4 Game Notes: Cowboys vs. Broncos

There’s so much to hate about the Cowboys 17-10 loss to the Broncos today that I don’t even know where to begin my breakdown. In what could easily be described as the most boring Cowboys game in years, Dallas fell to 2-2 on the season. They’re now tied with the Washington Redskins for last place in the NFC East. Glorious.

1. What the hell has happened to Tony Romo? It might be time to officially announce the death of “Gunslinger” Romo and welcome in the era of “Gutless” Romo. It almost appears as if Romo has taken the criticism he received after the Giants debacle and completely turned it around on the fans. He’s now going out of his way to make sure that nothing he does appears risky or careless. That worked fine last week against a terrible Carolina Panther’s team, but it’s not going to work against anyone else. Romo has now gone two consecutive games without a touchdown pass for the first time in his career. He stands in the pocket like a statue for what seems like an eternity. He’s determined to not force a pass to anyone and the result is that he’s getting sacked like crazy. Not that it matters, because even when the receivers do come open, Romo can’t get them the ball. He overthrew everybody today, and almost got Roy Williams killed in the process. This version of Romo reminds me of the stunt Kobe Bryant pulled a few years ago. After receiving unending criticism about his “ballhogging” and constant need to take the important shots late in games, Bryant decided to give the naysayers a taste of what life was like without him involved in crunchtime. Late in close games, Bryant refused to take the big shot. He constantly passed the ball and looked to others to play the role of hero. It quickly became apparent how absurd the criticism of Bryant had been, and he demonstrated it perfectly. If this is your tactic Romo, I beg of you to cut it the fuck out. We realize that you’re not a “bus driver.” Get back to taking chances and making plays. For the love of God, I can’t take much more of this.

2. For the second week in a row, Jason Garrett screwed the pooch with his goalline play-calling. Last week, it was the back-to-back fade routes from the one yard line that had the masses up in arms. This week, it should be the two throws to Sam Hurd that has Cowboys faithful seeing red. When you’re inside the 5-yard line, with the game on the brink, you’d think that two passes to your fourth-string wide receiver who is covered by the best cornerback in pro football wouldn’t be an option. Especially when you have one tight end who is 6’5”, another one who is 6’7” and multiple running backs who can catch the ball. Why does this asshole get paid so much to over think the obvious?

3. Do we have safeties on this team? I haven’t seen one show up yet this season. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve seen Ken Hamlin since 2007. On a side note, how sick did it make you to see Brian Dawkins running roughshod out there, making plays all over the field and getting his team fired up. We could have had that guy. We chose Gerald Sensabaugh instead. Classic.

4. Anthony Spencer is a walking mangina. He does nothing to flush the quarterback towards Demarcus Ware’s side. When he finally did get to the quarterback for the first time ever, he pulled him down by the facemask. However, it was the pass that went through his hands in the second quarter and into the mitts of Knowshon Moreno for a touchdown that was possibly the gayest thing I’ve ever witnessed in a football game. The worst outcome that should have come from that situation was Spencer simply batting the ball down instead of intercepting it. But in true Cowboy form, Spencer found a way to turn the routine into the disastrous.

5. Did the Cowboys leave the running game back in Dallas? After two straight 200+ yard rushing performances, the Cowboys managed a measly 74 yards rushing. They averaged a banal three yards a carry. I understand what a game-changer Felix Jones is, but you should still be able to manage just fine with Marion Barber and Tashard Choice.

Kevin Sherrington Sucks At Life

Rarely, if ever, does a story appear in The Dallas Morning News that makes me contemplate canceling my subscription. And yes, I receive an actual hard copy of the paper everyday like it’s freaking 1955.

However, today columnist Kevin Sherrington wrote what may be the most ill-conceived stream of mental diarrhea that has ever graced the pages of the DMN.

The title of the aforementioned piece: Dallas Cowboys’ Romo could learn from Broncos’ QB Orton.

You read that correctly. There is a sports pundit in this town that wants Tony Romo to be more like Kyle Orton.

Kyle. Fucking. Orton.

Look, I understand that Romo gets a little careless with the ball from time to time, but if he ever decides to remake his style of play in the image of Kyle Orton, I will be the first person to find Kevin Sherrington and punch him square in the face. Orton is a half-wit, whiskey-guzzling retard who wouldn’t know what a pass over 15 yards looked like if it jumped up and stabbed him in the taint. Orton plays football like old people fuck. Slow, awkward and painful to watch.

Orton has won three games this year against the likes of the Bengals, the Buccaneers and the Browns and your want your perennial all-pro quarterback, who is also one of the highest rated passers in the league since ’06, to overhaul his approach to the position to be more of a “bus driver?”

Give me a goddamn break. They don’t even let people this stupid run for public office.

Go away, Kevin Sherrington. Please, just go away.

“Fragile” Felix Jones Is Back

After having monster performances in the Cowboys’ last two games, Felix Jones has once again succumbed to the injury bug that has pestered him for his entire short career. ESPNDallas.com is reporting that Jones will miss Sunday’s game at Denver due to a sprained knee he suffered on a long run in the third quarter of last night’s game against Carolina.

I think at this point it’s fairly obvious what a weapon Jones can be when he’s healthy. However, it looks like we’re never going to see more than three games in a row out of this guy.

This injury combined with Marion Barber’s strained left calf have quickly thinned the ranks of what was the NFL’s deepest backfield.

Buffalo Bills + Monday Night Football = Epic Fail

It doesn’t seem like it’s been two years since the epic Buffalo meltdown against the Cowboys on Monday Night Football. In case you need a refresher, the Bills jumped out to a 24-7 lead in that game only to allow the Cowboys to come storming back. On the last play of the game, Nick Folk drilled a 53-yard field goal (twice) to win the game 25-24. A full recap can be found here.

Tonight, the Bills seemingly wanted to duplicate that magical night in 2007. Leading the mighty Patriots 24-13 with five minutes to go in the fourth quarter, the Bills allowed a Tom Brady touchdown pass to Ben Watson, fumbled away the ensuing kickoff and then allowed another Brady to Watson touchdown pass. The final score after a couple of missed two-point conversions by New England: 25-24.

You suck at life, Buffalo. Why don’t you just give up?

Week 1 Game Notes: Cowboys vs. Buccaneers

If you just look at the 34-21 score, you’d think the Cowboys came out and handled Tampa Bay today. While there were some things to be pleased by, I think there are far more things to be very concerned about. Let’s light this candle.

1. The Cowboys defense sucks. They’re soft, slow and stupid. That’s not to say that they won’t improve as the year goes along, but today they were horrible. The Bucs racked up 450 total yards and could have easily had 100 more if it wasn’t for a few dropped balls and passes that got away from Byron Leftwich. Early in the game, the Bucs were running the ball at will. The impact of Wade Phillips’ infamous “Camp Cupcake” was obvious as Cadillac Williams and Derrick Ward just bowled over Cowboys defenders. The Bucs ran the ball for 176 yards and average 5.6 per carry. Missed tackles were abundant in the preseason and it’s obvious that it’ll be a problem for a long time. Wide receivers were wide open all over the field. The middle of the field was wide open all game. If these things don’t get fixed by next week, the Giants will win by three touchdowns.

2. Speaking of the defense, how do these stats sit with you? Leftwich, a veritable statue at quarterback, dropped back to pass 42 times. The Cowboys got ZERO sacks and forced ZERO turnovers. Not only have the Cowboys not improved on the absolute worst facet of their game (forcing turnovers) from last year, but they’ve lost what was the only strong point of their defense from last year (getting to the QB).

3. Mike Jenkins is a moron. The guy looks lost on 3/4′s of the plays he’s in on. Please let Orlando Scandrick be the full-time starter.

4. It’s the second quarter, the Cowboys are marching down the field trying to regain the lead after a Cadillac Williams touchdown made it 7-6.  It’s 2nd and 10 at the Dallas 45 yardline. The Cowboys run a beautiful end-around play to Patrick Crayton who dashed upfield for a 16-yard gain. However, there’s a flag on the play. Unnecessary roughness called on Flozell Adams. Wipe out the run and move the ball back 15 yards. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

5. It was good to see Tony Romo overcome his early game jitters and come out firing in the second half. The placement on his passes was off in the first half. He was throwing behind his receivers on quick slants and he tried to fire a pass into Martellus Bennett on a fade route instead of throwing the ball high and with touch. However, in the second half, he settled down and ended up with the highest single game passing yards total of his career: 353. His final line was equally impressive: 16 of 27 for 353 yards and 3 touchdowns. That comes out to a QB rating of 140.6. Not too shabby.

6. Remember the constant whining about where the big plays were going to come from now that T.O. is gone? How do touchdowns of 42 yards, 66 yards and 80 yards sit with you, naysayers? The receiving corp looked good today, and it was kind of relieving to watch a game and know that the ticking timebomb that is T.O. wasn’t about to explode because other people were making big plays.

7. I like the running back rotation that Jason Garrett used today. It was a great mix of all three Dallas backs: Marion Barber, Felix Jones and Tashard Choice. What I liked even better was how obvious it was that Barber was still fresh in the fourth quarter when it was time for the Cowboys to close out the victory. The Cowboys are a much better offense when Barber can come in late in the game with fresh legs and be the battering ram we all know and love.

Forbes Says Cowboys Are No. 1

Forbes Magazine published its annual list of the most valuable teams in the NFL today and for the third year in a row, your Dallas Cowboys are in first-place. The Cowboys total value comes in at a cool $1.7 billion, a good $100 million more than the second-place Washington Redskins. Two quick notes: Why did Forbes choose to use a picture of Jon Kitna on the Cowboys’ page? And how hilarious is it to read this about the second-to-last place Minnesota Vikings?

The Vikings wooed QB Brett Favre for months trying get the future Hall of Famer to come out retirement once again. He finally committed and the franchise has Super Bowl aspirations. The Vikings biggest problem remains their stadium situation. The Metrodome is one of the oldest buildings in the league and keeps the Vikings at the bottom of the NFL’s revenue standings. The team has not gotten anywhere trying to get funding for a new building from the state legislature. If a deal can not be struck look for the Vikes to fill the NFL’s gaping hole in Los Angeles when the team’s lease at the Metrodome expires after the 2011 season.

Having countless friends from that part of the country, it will be a glorious day when the moving trucks pull up to the Metrodome and start loading up for Los Angeles. I can’t wait for the 2012 season to get here.

Bring On Kevin Ogletree!

Kevin Ogletree has already firmly entrenched himself as the most intriguing rookie/player personnel decision of the preseason. I’ve already got him pegged to take Isiah Stanback’s roster spot, and it looks like Bob Sturm over on the Inside Corner agrees with me. Sturm has an excellent write up about Ogletree and how he could make an impact on this team. I highly recommend you read it.

Notes From Section 418, Row 14, Seat 3 – Cowboys 13, San Fran 20

August 29, 2009 — Dallas Cowboys vs. San Francisco 49ers

This week’s preseason game wasn’t particularly exciting, so I’ll try to keep this brief. For the most part, the game was slow moving and somewhat dull, but it had its moments.

* The first team offense looked good once again. Tony Romo led the team on a 14-play, 94-yard drive in the second quarter that was capped off with a three yard touchdown run by Felix Jones.

* However, penalties were a problem again. In the first quarter, a 49-yard Nick Folk field goal was wiped off due to a Cory Procter holding penalty. Overall, the Cowboys had eight penalties for 78 yards. That shit has got to stop.

* Felix Jones is a bad ass. He was one ankle tackle away from breaking a 91-yard touchdown run early in the game. And what might be even more impressive is his toughness around the goal line. For the second week in a row, he powered a touchdown in from close range. Jones combined with the strength of Barber should make the Cowboys a force to be reckoned when they get close to the end zone.

* Terence Newman had a spectacular 43-yard punt return that he almost broke all the way. Newman needs to be the full-time punt returner, but I can understand the coach’s hesitance to do so because of all of Newman’s injury problems in the past.

* Isiah Stanback meet Kevin Ogletree. He’s the guy who just took your job. Enjoy your unemployment.

* The teams combined to punt 10 times. Not one punt came anywhere near hitting the massive jumbotron over the field, which further proves the point that the only way to hit the thing is if you’re trying to. Now all you naysayers can shut the eff up. I think most of your boo-hooing comes from the fact that our jumbotron probably cost more than the piece of shit stadium that you have to watch games in.

* A note to all offensive coordinators around the league: the Wildcat offense is fugging useless. It’s the acid-washed jeans of NFL offenses. It worked a couple of times last year only because nobody expected to see such utter retardation on a professional football field. Taking out your quarterback, who is the leader of the offense, the guy everyone looks to and the person who knows where everyone is supposed to be, and replacing him with a second string running back or third string wide receiver is the definition of special needs. Trying to church up the quarterback position doesn’t work. If you need evidence, just look at the Kordell Stewart, Vince Young and Michael Vick experiments.

*Follow the jump for a couple of new photos from JerryWorld.

Notes From Section 418, Row 14, Seat 3

August 21, 2009 – Dallas Cowboys vs. Tennessee Titans

I apologize for this being a couple of days late, but it’s here none the less. Friday was the very first football game ever to be played at the new Cowboys Stadium. And, trust me, it didn’t disappoint. While the game itself was greatness (Cowboys won 30-10), pretty much all of my observations are going to be in relation to the stadium itself. Let’s light this candle.

* I always thought the phrase “wow factor” was a bit cliche, but when it comes to the new Cowboys Stadium, it’s spot on. This place is fucking amazing. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Everything about it is visually stunning and the sheer size of the thing is damn near overwhelming. It raises up off the Texas prairie like some sort of alien master station. It reminds me of the stranded ship hovering over Johannesburg in District 9. I’m still waiting for the debut of the planet-destroying laser cannon.

* Because the thing is so freaking big, it’s remarkably comfortable. The game wasn’t sold out, but there were still more than 75,000 people in attendance. That’s a good 10,000 more than would show up for a game at the old Texas Stadium. And yet, it didn’t feel that way. The new stadium is spacious, has plenty of bathrooms and concession stands and has large areas of empty space where you can get away if you need to. Most notably among these would the giant outdoor party verandas on each end. At Texas Stadium, you were cramped in that giant concrete toilet, waiting in lines for everything and watching filthy water rain down from the pipes above the stairwells. None of those things will be missed.

* Thank you for re-introducing the in-stand vendor, Jerry Jones. I know you removed them on purpose at Texas Stadium to make the place as shitty as possible in the efforts to get your new Death Star built, but I’m extremely thankful to you for re-instituting them at the new digs. Having the beer and hot dog guys actually come to me instead of having to wait in a 10 mile long line every time I wanted a refreshment is a luxury I took for granted. Never again.

* You can tell the place still isn’t finished. It smells of fresh paint and construction materials. Several obvious bits of Cowboys lore were missing, too. The Ring of Honor, the Super Bowl banners and the star at mid-field were all notably absent. These need to be fixed before the home opener against New York. Get on it, Jerry.

* The 60-yard long, $40 million, high-definition jumbotron is mesmerizing. The picture is so clear that you could a hair out of place on Jason Witten’s head and a new herpe sore on the corner of Tony Romo’s mouth. I had to literally force myself to watch the game on the field instead of on the screen. And as for the Titans punter who kicked the ball into the bottom of the screen, go fuck yourself. It was completely obvious that he had no intention with that kick other than to show that he could hit the screen. He kicked the ball straight up into the air with no regard for actually trying to get it down the field. Any other time in the game, when the punter was actually trying to do his job, there was absolutely no problem. All this flub has done is give every naysayer who cheers for a broke ass team who plays in a glorified tin-can or slightly larger version of a Texas high school stadium (I’m looking right at you Vikings and Bills fans) a chance to act like this stadium hasn’t completely ruled you obsolete. Well, news flash, because it has. Suck it.

* More pics of our initial trip to Jerry World are included after the jump. Enjoy.

Dallas Cowboys Season Tickets Are Here!

Today is a monumental day in my life. After spending the last 28 years as a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan, I’m finally an official season ticket holder. This has been a goal of mine for years and something I promised to make happen when I moved back to Dallas four years ago. I big shout out has to go to Homers co-founder Jerrod who made this all possible through the connections he’s made at his job.

Not only will these tickets help increase my already incredibly high level of fandom for the Cowboys, they’ll allow me to add a new dimension to Homers On The Range by providing first-hand coverage of each of the Cowboys’ eight home games. Observations on the game, the new stadium and the sure-to-be ever-present “cocaine and boobjob crowd” will fill the pages of Homers with hardcore information and never-ending hilarity.

So stay tuned for what’s sure to be a freaking amazing 2009 football season.

The Quest For Number Six Starts Tonight….Sort Of

After eight months of trying to get the image of 44-6 out of my brain, it’s finally time for redemption. The Dallas Cowboys kick off their 2009 preseason tonight by traveling to Oakland to clash with the Emperor and his colossally shitty Raiders. The three main things I’ll be looking for tonight are the progression of the first string wide receivers without Terrell Owens there to draw most of the attention; what kind of focus will be placed on the three-headed beast of a running game we have; and how the secondary shapes up with new, young starters at both corner and safety. I realize nothing completely serious can be gleened from tonight’s game, but it’ll be interesting to see if these guys have any fire whatsoever or if they’re cakewalking through the preseason like they did last year.

Cowboys Fans Gotta Stick Together

I’m usually not one to have a bleeding heart, but this story about a 53-year-old mentally disabled man who had his prized possessions stolen made my heart ache. The man, Butch Franklin, is a die-hard Cowboys fan and his Addison apartment was recently robbed by asshole Eagles’ fans (at least that’s what I’m telling myself). The thieves made off with his autographed Cowboys memorabilia, including an autographed Tony Romo poster and an autographed panorama of Texas Stadium.

Brett Daniels, a spokesman for the Cowboys, states at the end of the story that the team will definitely rectify Mr. Franklin’s situation by replacing the autographed items he lost. If it hadn’t been for Daniels’ promise, I was fully prepared to sacrifice one of the several autographed Cowboys items that I have in my office to Mr. Franklin’s cause.

The question is, which item would I part with? My Tony Romo autographed football? My Troy Aikman autograph? My Roger Staubach autographed ball? My Walt Garrison autographed photo? My Tony Hill autographed mini-ball? My pin flag from Cowboys Golf Course signed by Jason Witten, Terence Newman, Calvin Hill, Anthony Henry and Terry Glenn?

Wow, I just realized that I have a pretty damn good collection going. Thank God for Brett Daniels, because I don’t know if I could make a decision.

Greg Ellis Is Seduced By The Dark Side

It appears that Greg Ellis parlayed his three years worth of incessant bitching and moaning into a sweet gig with none other than the Oakland Raiders. The lure of the Emperor was evidently much more appealing than playing alongside a Jedi Knight. The Dark Side can have these effects on the feeble-minded.

It’s too bad you took every opportunity the last few years to cry like a huge puss, Mr. Ellis, because your career is now officially over.

#21 vs. #31

With the release of Pacman Jones and the trade of Anthony Henry to the Lions for John Kitna, the Cowboys are going to be looking to their young cornerbacks to step up big time this season. Second year CB Mike Jenkins knows that expectations will be very high for him, especially since the Cowboys drafted him in the first round in ’08. There’s a great article about Jenkins and the upcoming season in the DMN today.

You’ll notice that right off the bat, Todd Archer mentions one change Jenkins has already made is to switch his jersey number from 31 to 21. Apparently Roy Williams (the safety) told Jenkins that 31 is jinxed. Jenkins also wants to honor his friend Sean Taylor, who died two years ago.

This got me to thinking about the numbers 31 and 21, and what their recent histories have been with the Cowboys. After reviewing the facts, I think Jenkins might want to reconsider his decision.

New Dallas Cowboys Stadium Makes Its Debut Tomorrow

Jerry Jones’ $1.15 billion monument to himself officially opens this weekend when George Strait brings his country greatness to town on Saturday. I won’t be personally attending the concert, just longing to be there from afar. However, I want to hear from anybody who does plan on going on Saturday. I want to hear about first impressions of the stadium, what traffic is like on the way there and how the parking situation measures up. As a season ticket holder for the upcoming year, these are all issues I have a vested interest in. And if anyone wants to take few cellphone video clips of the show, well, feel free to ship those my way, too.

World’s Largest HDTV In Place At Cowboys Stadium

Here’s a sneak peek at how the founders of this little blog will be watching Cowboys’ home games this year.

Let’s rundown some of the technical specs:

• More than 25,000 square feet of video display
• 60 yards long, 72 feet tall
• Weighs more than 600 tons
• The bottom is a mere 90 feet above the field
• 25 million lights
• Total cost = $40 million

Ain’t season tickets grand? Have fun at home this year, suckers!